Okay – so brief update…I got my book! I finally made it up to my house to get all my stuff to actually move my stuff to Houston. About time! Needless to say – I GOT MY BOOK BACK! So, I am going to get this blog back on track…we are on day five…if you need a back story jump to the February postings and you will be able to read days 1 – 4.
Day FIVE: Thinking about My Purpose
Point to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust.
Verse to Remember: “Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones.” Luke 16:10A
Questions to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
In a nutshell day five is trying to guide you to the realization that every incident in life is a test. Did you get the interview? Did you get the job? Were you able to hold open the door for the mom with three kids? How did you treat your fellow man today? It is asking you to reflect on the fact that all things in life are a test and depending on how you respond, God will respond in kind. Then day five is also about knowing that this life is a trust. A trust between you and God, and in knowing that how do you respond. This trust being similar to the monetary trusts of the rich…you have to show you are wise and responsible to be given more of what is in the trust for you.
To answer the questions at the end of the chapter is to sort of have a self therapy session, so bear with me for a few minutes. What do I realize God has tested me on? Simple EVERYTHING! Where to begin?! He tests me on my family life and my marriage. A marriage which is disolving and will no longer exist, a fact that I must admit is good for me, but something at which I still feel I have failed. I didn’t do anything wrong and I feel like the failure. Maybe there is another test in the failure, something I haven’t figured out yet, but there are so many more tests just because of that marriage. Tests of my families love for me. Is there a chance for recovery when you seem to bulldoze your way through to make something work that you don’t know is going to end positively? I gave up everything and put my life on hold to make a marriage work, and now I feel like I am walking through a mine field trying to gather the pieces of what life has left to put them back together and make a future for myself and my kids. My eating habits I must admit are a test for me and a point of contention. Anyone who knows me knows that I love good food, but the ten years of spiraling depression and bad food choices have made for a chubby Meg and how do I change that and have a chocolate chip cookie too?! I have neither passed nor failed this one…yet.
As for the things God has entrusted to me? First my life, I know this is silly but I have always known my life was not my own. I was put here for a greater purpose than to make money and accumulate crap, I just haven’t figured out what exactly it is that my purpose is…I have a few ideas though. Second, my sons. There is no greater gift than a child of your own, and I am lucky enough that God has blessed me with to angels. Sometimes there are horns holding up their halos, but I still see them. Finally, I think he has entrusted me with a great ability to be compassionate, show empathy, and offer a few words to get through rough patches, but mostly to help others on their path. When it comes down to it I am a helper, and this may be why I thought life would be different with someone who needed so much help, but the truth is that a helper needs another helper, not a taker. Even the heler can only give so much before there is nothing left to give.
Alas, I could go on and on with these two, but I will leave you with a thought. I want to open a center here in the Houston area. A center based on an agency that helped me in Cortland, it is called Helping Hands, Caring Heart. It is basically a neighbor helping neighbor approach to helping those in need. Providing clothing, bottles, diapers, formula, wipes, furniture, food, and whatever else is required to help those less fortunate than ourselves. What do we do with the things that we accumulate for our children? When you buy a new dress for a 3 month old, aren’t you out buying the same dress a month later in a larger size? After returning to this area I realized how much a service like this is needed. After a little research there is not currently an agency or organization that remotely offers this type of assistance. I want to start one of Ms. Pat’s beacon’s of hope. If you are interested in helping me, leave a comment or send me an email.
Much love my friends – 🙂