|“To change your life: Start immediately, do it flamboyantly, no exceptions.”|
|― William Jones|
That is from the magazine Real Simple, their daily thought email. It is so appropriate for this morning…in the light of a new day. Migraines and all.
Boundaries…those little lines we draw around ourselves to stay whole. I wrote about them a little in the post entitled “The Onion.”
You know I have issues with boundaries, and I am trying to form them without going to the extreme. The ironclad impenetrable shield that doesn’t allow anyone in.
It is not often that I come across someone who no matter how great things are going for them they don’t allow their heart to rule their head. Sure, maybe that is the way people should be, but never in my experience on this earth have I met someone who could actually do it.
I live by the idea that you should, “Do what you say and say what you mean.”
Except lately…I can’t seem to make the two meet in the middle.
I say one thing, like word vomit, it spews from my mouth and brain. I say something so completely different from what I feel and in the end I end up feeling hurt. I am usually an open book. Willing to share and be happy. My ability to be honest with how I feel is normally not a problem!
Why couldn’t I?
I don’t know.
My pain. My wall of armor. My satirical mental illness? The trenchant words that aren’t what I am actually feeling. I push. Push to the point where I don’t know if what I said is what pushed them away or if their own iron wall just doesn’t let me in.
It does make one wonder what would have happened at another time and place.
“Be good natured and untidy in your exuberance.”
I have used this quote before. I try to live this way. I am exuberant.
The m-w.com definition of exuberant is: