Love and Circumstance

My last few posts were a little heavy. The torture of addiction, abuse, codependancy, and trauma…but what about after? What happens AFTER the relationship ends? How do you deal?

Honestly, I don’t know…

However I am great at finding tidbits of wisdom from across the web and I stumbled upon this the other day on a friend’s facebook status. I don’t know the original author of this quote, but it’s good…

“When you have someone in your life willing to accept you for who you are, don’t push them away in fear of being hurt, pull them close and count your blessings.”

I have a tendancy to try to push people away…even the ones I want to stay near. I don’t know if it is a result of never wanting to be hurt again, but with this whole fearless living goal, I am going to try to stop.

How can I embrace my passion to be a better, more aware person if I am hindered by my own dysfunction? Just because something bad happened in a previous relationship does not mean that it will happen again.

The realist in me says, “Um, yeah, Meg, it can. Be wary!”

The hopeless romantic says, “Awww, but it feels so good!”

This is something we all struggle with after relationships end badly.

The friend I stole the quote from and I have been wondering this…

“Why is it we push the good ones away and gravitate towards the bad ones? Or maybe they aren’t really bad. Maybe they are scared just like us. Deep down everyone is good.”

Like my friend I don’t think that anyone is truly bad. I think that we are all scared. Scared to start over, let go, move on, feel out of control. I think that deep down we really are all good. Even the worst of society desire love in one form or another.

Love is chemistry, commitment, ambition, and passion. It is what drives the world and makes people do wonderfully stupid things.

Friday, at http://www.justbeenough.com/being-yourself/ there was a passage about getting to know people. The story was written about Moms getting to know each other in a less than appealling setting. But my favorite line from the piece and one that I have recently shared with someone else is,

“Right now what we know about each other is small and what we have hidden from each other is big. The more that we share, these will flip flop and we will trust each other, really know each other, and really learn about each other- and ourselves.”

It is also this way when talking about falling in love. You start with something small and it builds and changes until it’s everything. Some day, long before I am old I hope to find and stay with the one person who makes me want to flip flop and trust them and be together.

Happy Monday. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Love and Circumstance

  1. DesiValentine says:

    There is so much truth, here. For all of us who have been hurt, caution is always our first reaction. But if you can be brave enough to be authentic, there is so much to gain! Lovely post 🙂

  2. critters and crayons says:

    It takes guts to love and trust. Probably why it took me so long to choose to stay home. I hope you’re healing goes well- Thanks for the post-

  3. Galit Breen says:

    Wow, this is such a powerful post. It’s raw and honest. I love that.

    I can relate to the pushing away- it’s also the way that I work; one of my worst traits, by far.

    I also want to thank you for quoting my post in here. I’m honored to be a part of something so real and transparent.

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