On the way to work this morning I was hearing this song for perhaps the 100th time, I was singing along and I feel compelled to share it with you. It was written for the men in the world. Telling you about who you were made to be.

Who you should strive to be.

The influences on life and culture don’t speak to who a man should be anymore. They speak to how he should look and what he should be able to buy.

Who do you think you should be? What do you think you should be doing?

A few years ago, after I left my husband for the first time I discovered that EVERY woman in my office – there were about 35 of us – had been divorced at least once. Everyone. They had started lives with men and then found that although they looked old enough, they were still boys. They played games instead of taught their children how to act. They got high or wasted instead of helping provide for their families. The women had to pick up the slack.

We don’t like to pick up that much slack. We don’t like the world on our shoulders.

The children of these women had no male role models involved in their life on a day to day basis. The fathers were not involved in their lives even on a monthly basis.  The women struggled for everything they had while they were single mothers.

Single parenting is hard, but single parenting in comparisson to being married to a man-child is much easier. We aren’t met with the anger and frustration of having someone laze around all day and STILL expect us to wait on them hand and foot AFTER we have gotten home from pulling a 10 hour shift at work.

Women are certainly not the weaker sex. Personally I don’t think either sex is weaker. I think we were just made for different jobs, and somewhere along the road to enlightenment someone forgot that.

In an effort to help you to understand I pulled this list from Proverbs 31 ministries – it is not the list in Proverbs 31, but it gives you the general idea.

The Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 Woman…

 Pursues an ongoing, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

 Loves, honors, and greatly enriches the life of her husband, encouraging and supporting his leadership within his family and his church.

 Nurtures the next generation, shaping and molding the children who will one day define who we are as a community and as a nation. 

Creates a warm and loving environment for family and friends. 

Is a faithful steward of the time and money God has entrusted to her. 

Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction as she encourages others and develops godly friendships.

 Shares the love of Christ by extending her hands to help the poor and opening her arms to the needy.

Likewise  – I googled “What the Bible has to say about being a man.” There is not a website like Proverbs 31 for you guys. No wonder you don’t know what you are doing! Just kidding…

There is a post in Yahoo Answers that I came across that has a list of chapters and verses that I encourage you to read.

1 Timothy Chapter 5
8. BUT IF ANY provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13
11. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Ephesians Chapter 5
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ecclesiastes Chapter 4
9. Two [are] better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him [that is] alone when he falleth; for [he hath] not another to help him up.

Titus Chapter 2
3. The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5. [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1 Peter Chapter 3
7. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8. Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous:
9. Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Philippians Chapter 2
2. Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind.
3. [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Philippians Chapter 2
14. Do all things without murmurings and disputings:

Ephesians Chapter 5
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Proverbs Chapter 15
1. A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Ephesians Chapter 4
29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
31. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

Ephesians Chapter 5
4. Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Ephesians Chapter 4
32. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

John Chapter 8
32. And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.


Men – be courageous. Be extraordinary. Be more than we expect you to be just because we women know that it’s in you – some where.

Women – Single or Married – give your guys a chance to be the men they need to be. Raise your sons to be the men you dreamed of having.

Everyone – Remember the golden rule and harm none.


10 thoughts on “Courageous

  1. thehonestone says:

    Hi Megan

    As a man myself, I will jot my opinion down here, so don’t shoot me (Ha ha ha). I think the reason men are not men, is a two fold thing.

    For one our culture (collectively) is a feminine culture. I would have to write a thesis to explain my position. But the slack if it was not picked up by men, then it should be left alone. Sometimes doing nothing is the right thing to do. I think of Uzziah who tried to steady the Ark on return to Israel and got struck down.

    I am not condoning that men should shirk responsibility, but that just because someone is not doing something does not give the wrong people the license to step in. They were not meant to do that. The repercussions we now deal with.

    I will stop here before I suffer from foot in mouth disease….. Just my opinion hey.

    • Megan DaGata says:

      Hi Lyn, I understand where you are coming from. You are right about the feminine culture. Everyone wants men to be more emotional and effeminate. Well not everyone but pop culture pushes it. As for not picking up the slack…it’s the basic family stuff that I’m talking about. Making sure there is money to pay the bills, paying the bills, making sure the kids are at school on time, and just the normal day to day family requirements. There’s no time for the rest.

      • thehonestone says:

        I hear you, but all things considered, I have been in various churches a while now, and the demands made on men are quite high considering that women don’t really get a framework set out for women. I am not trying to be difficult or blame women, its just that men tend to get the blame for all what is wrong, when ultimately we are all in a fallen world so we are all responsible for where it is.

        As for the specifics, they can only be understood and dealt with once the bigger picture is understood. I am not sure if its the same your side of the world, but here I cannot recall a single sermon on what women are not. Yet I can think of countless of times when sermons sole focus was on what men are not (from both men and women preachers).
        That takes its toll on the psyche and men simply give up eventually. Give up in the sense, that they clearly will never be good enough. So why bother trying. Sure enough one does get the completely lazy man and just plain rude, but that does not detract from the collective having been abused (thats what it is) from a culture (even in the church) deriding the core of men.

        As for the greater picture of christianity, the church was born in an involved community, which we have a vague idea of nowadays. If we were living connected with each other on a more than just on sunday type fellowship ,then the communal way would help solve this discrepancies.

        Having taken a lot of drugs in my life already and also running away from my problems. I think I could say that what is expected of men is a lot, and not all of us know what to do. Sometimes we also run away from conflict (just like some women do) only we are repeatedly called out on it.

        Sorry for the long reply (its almost a sermon ha ha ha)

      • Megan DaGata says:

        I have been trying to think if I have heard a sermon on the inadequacies of women, but I can’t remember a time when I have…however most sermons I hear are directed at both men and women. In general when I hear a sermon on the plight of man I take that to mean men and women.

        Our cultures based on locations really are vastly different. Not only are the histories different the historical influences are drastically different. Our natural reactions for handling crisis are very similar…we turn to drugs, we turn to alcohol, we turn to the comfort of a persons arms, and we run away. We all give up. We all feel inadequate.

        I think we all long for times past when our societal roles were more defined. Times were easier when we did not have so many choices. I know I do.

    • Megan DaGata says:

      Hi Barbie,

      That’s one of my problems with the men in my own life. Danny and Troy as addicts have been crippled by their disease and unable to be the men they should have been. It is in losing Troy that I hope Danny understands what could have been. If I haven’t told you what happened to Troy let me know and I can explain who and what he was.

  2. Danny Wayne Timmons says:

    It was only at a time when I had no one left in the world and no other choice but to believe in and have faith in the awesome power of God’s everlasting forgiveness and true mercy that I found the humility and humbleness that was needed to overcome the debauchery my life once was … and ONLY then did I realize the true meaning of gratitude for ALL who have crossed my journey (especially the women) and then the truth that GOD’s love is really what we are all meant to share and no one is ever to blame ! We are all ONE in CHRIST Forever .

  3. mj monaghan says:

    Megan, that is a fantastic song. I have listened to it quite a few times myself.

    I understand what Lyn is saying above, but I disagree. The whole point about being the men we need to be is being courageous first. Love and relationship with God as the first priority. It shouldn’t matter what culture is doing, or those around us, or about a feminine psyche being foisted upon us.

    It calls for strength to rise up. Not be dictatorial and demanding, but be the humble role models in our homes for our wives and children.

    We shouldn’t be victims of society as men. Too many men succumb to societal pressures unnecessarily. Hope this makes sense.

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