I’ve been exploring lately on my followers blogs and it seems a few of you guys are dating. While I am not quite there, I’ve been out a couple of times lately; so I thought I would share MY thoughts with you on how alllll this is supposed to work.
To add a little perspective, I thought I would share some things from a book a friend gave me as a gift called, What is He Thinking? by Rebecca St. James.
Who is Rebecca St. James? (According to the back of the book…)
Australian-born Rebecca St. James is a Grammy Award winning musician with record sales in the millions. She is also an in-demand speaker, bestselling author and actress. You can read more about Rebecca on her official website: www.rsj.com or on her Facebook page: www.facebook.com/RSJames
Now I better not get in trouble for copyright infringements or anything.
(Please Lord? Thank you!)
Anyway…back to the topic…dating.
Can I say right now that I don’t like it?
This whole trying on people and see how they fit routine. I am naturally picky and won’t even go out with someone unless I am really interested. There is too much work and expense involved…even if I am not the one paying for whatever we are doing. I still have to coordinate a sitter, depending on who I can find is upwards of $40 for one evening.
As I have stated in several posts….I am a poor girl!
Even if I can get a family member to watch then there is the whole explanation of where I’m going, who’s going with me, when will I be back.
I don’t know many people who willingly stand in front of the shooting gallery and try to dodge the bullets! Single moms and dads who want to have a few hours with another adult do it regularly.
Before we even get to that point we have to find SOMEONE to go out with! How do you do that?! Where do you do that?! Who is supposed to do the asking?! All questions for the ages…and maybe we can answer them (at least a little) here.
How? I don’t know, so I am going to refer to Rebecca’s book…for starters you make a good first impression. Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you are not. If you are trying to be someone else eventually your true self will be revealed and then…”You got some espainen to do, Lucy!” (Sorry, you have to say that with the Ricky Ricardo accent.)
But what if you already know this person? Well…you must be doing something to get them interested in you to begin with…so just don’t change and get all nervous and self-conscience on them. It might turn them off. As an over-analytical-seemingly-crazy person I know! Try to not do that. It will not end well.
Where? I don’t know where.
That I leave to you to figure out. I guess it could be anywhere.
I know someone who met their first husband when he hit their car in a traffic accident. Another who met her husband when she was 15 after trying to set the guy up with her best friend.
We aren’t 15 anymore and I HOPE I don’t meet whomever I go out with in a traffic accident…no accidents PLEASE I can’t afford a new car.
If and when I decide its time to go about doing this I will have to figure the where out. At the moment everyone I see on a daily/weekly basis is happily married or at least committed enough in their relationships to see it through. I have PLENTY of examples of how to make it work…just in case I ever need them.
So who is supposed to ask for these dates? Hmmmm…this is a toughy. It really depends on the people you are asking out. Are they a “man’s man?” They don’t want to seemingly be emasculated even though that’s not what you are meaning to do. Are they beyond shy and don’t have the…uh…juevos…to do it themselves? Have you guys been friends so long than suddenly decide you want more out of what’s going on?!
Here is my theory…JUST ASK! (This is not the theory or advice given in Rebecca’s book.) However my thought is that if you have a strong enough personality and identity to ask a guy out and they can’t handle that then they aren’t the guy for you. If you are a guy who wants to ask the girl out ASK! The whole thing takes a matter of seconds, and either you will go out or you won’t.
In the end it really doesn’t matter who asks.
Guys – if you feel like less of a man because a woman approaches you, that’s your problem. Maybe you should reevaluate whatever it is that makes you feel that way
Girls – if you like a dude and really want to see where it will go ask. All they can say is no.
Everyone – Please – for the love of ALL that is holy – GIVE A DIRECT RESPONSE! If you get a text invitation, say yes or say no, but don’t leave them hanging. That is rude and uncalled for. If the person doing the asking is grown up enough to ask you to do something, then they are grown up enough to hear a no.
Wow – this is getting long…I think this is enough for today. Check back tomorrow as I continue with a part 2!
**Part 2 will include much more of the book than this does.