I resolved to live deliberately this year. I don’t know if you all caught the new page or not. It was posted shortly before midnight on January 1. Some might think to a previous post where I pledged to live fearlessly…and I still do, but there is nothing to fear when everything remains the same.
So, living fearlessly is a great theory, but what about the practice?
About 12 days ago I had a car scare. My car, according to friends that I asked, was dying…only it wasn’t. Four auto dealers and one mechanic later, “Old Faithful” as I call her is running soundly. I avoided a hefty car payment and I saved money on my car insurance. (Ha ha, little joke.)
To be honest, I freaked out…the idea that as broke as I am I was going to have to come up with the cash to make car payments, increased insurance costs, AND I didn’t get the new job I interviewed for…it was a little overwhelming.
Two Fridays I was finally WITH the person doing the trade-in inspection on my car and he says to me, “You’re car runs like shit, get a tune up. Your car is far from dying.”
This was after my freak out phone call to my mom…”I won’t be able to drive to your house for Christmas! The boys don’t even have a tree to have Christmas here! What am I gonna do?! How are you going to get Shelb?!”
(Boo, Effing, Who…Right?!)
Alas…the car salesman that I was speaking to reignited my trust in Ol’ Faithful and about an hour later I was headed out of town. My mother asked me what on earth I was doing and my reply was…”As long as she makes it 133 miles, AAA will haul us the additional 99.”
I pay AAA every year just in case I have a roadside emergency…wouldn’t it be nice to use them for once?!
Anyway, that’s beside the fact…because it made me examine how we live life.
We scream and freak out and fret about the illusions in life when really they are just illusions. We believe something to be true when in fact it may not be. We ditch our faithful tools and occasionally friends at the first sign of dissidence.
We don’t allow ourselves the possibility because we might have to call a wrecker service.
We might fail.
We might end up in a dead car on the side of the road and have to figure a few things out.
But isn’t that what life is about?
You fail, but you don’t let the failure control your future. You pick yourself up and you move on. You try and try again, and HOPE that the next time it will work.
What if the great inventors of history had failed after their first attempts? We wouldn’t have the world we live in today!
We didn’t get the dream because we didn’t have the courage to take the chance.
Who wants to consider that in their 80’s? Who wants to wonder about the what ifs?
I had a fantastic holiday. I had 11 days of rest, relaxation, respite and all because I took the chance that Ol’ Faithful was true to form and we would make it. I saw the adventure in the possibly. What would have happened if the car had died? Would we have been sitting there all night? Would we have had to walk somewhere? Would the kids have had their own freak out moment?
I don’t know. But we did make it.
I think in this year to come I will be taking the chances to realize the dream and see what happens. All I can do is try. Try to be courageous. Try to step out of character and leap into the unknown. I will never know what I will find until I do.
Let’s see how far we can go in 2012, just to see what we can do.