One of the Oldest Professions

I started this post weeks ago with a different intent, but now, I have a more wholesome approach to one of the Oldest Professions.

How many of you have ever been a waiter or a waitress? Anyone? Most of us at some point have done this particular job. Do you remember how hard it was?

I have been a waitress at two different restaurants in my life. At the moment, I am waiting tables…but I don’t remember it being this hard! OH MY GOODNESS!

So, this is a piece on remembering to tip your waiters and bartenders and why…although I had planned on something more along the lines of a courtesan or concubine or mistress. That too is an old profession…just as old as marriage. So…like I said…much more wholesome.

On March 7, I started waiting tables again. I am working at the big, little restaurant on the bay and wow…am I in pain!

Once upon a time when I was 20 years old and working at this same restaurant. We would hire someone over 30 and I would laugh when they couldn’t keep up and smile on command.

<insert expletive> this is HARD!

Now I know why these women were huffing and puffing and their ankles were caving in!


Needless to say I am eating my words from my 20 year old self and I would like to smack the B—-. Only she is me and self abuse I teach against…although I think I am losing that argument as well every time I arrive at work. My schedule generally goes like this…

Clock in


Take a table

Finish what ever I was cleaning

Take another table

Run, table, run, table, table, run, etc…

For 6 to 9 hours a day…at least the 9 hours is expected (eventually) and after 9 shifts of 7 hours I ache! Places I didn’t remember I had ache! (If my physical therapist knew she would be beating me with her stretching belts!) My legs got a little shaky by Saturday afternoon and I nearly toppled a tray full of drinks on a table full of senior citizens! I saved it though…and felt better about myself about that. Yay me!!

One week in and I had renewed vigor in my job search. (Just so you know.) I have been on four interviews this week! Finally the economy really does look like it is picking up and it’s evidenced in the job banks! Thank you God! Just in time!

Anywho…I also forgot the pettiness of some people. I have been playing (working) with grown ups for far too long so petty people infuriate me. For those who have never waited tables before…allow me to enlighten you.

We have side work.

By that I mean we do menial tasks at $3.35 an hour until they are complete AFTER our shifts.

What do I mean by pettiness?

“She didn’t roll enough silverware.” “She tried to help the new guy when she is new herself.” “Don’t touch that!” “Blah, blah, blah…”

Pettiness people. If you are old enough to serve a drink you are old enough to not fight over bull shit. I am certain there is a more G rated term for that…but it is in fact bull shit…because it smells of such a substance.

I think I have posted before that my body is damaged and apparently no one I know reads my posts…so I am left to reexplain the trials of myself since having children. I feel a bit like a lazy chubby girl, but there are in fact medical reasons for everything, thus I have been angry with myself as much as others with higher expectations…because my 20 year old self would definitely be making fun of me.

Please – for the love of God – remember to tip your bartenders and waitstaff. Here is why…

1) They might have families they are supporting.

2) Someone around the corner from your table may be poking at their ego and stamina and it is reflecting in how they are dealing with you. I know you are thinking the wait person should be able to rise above this, but some times they really just want to go to the back and cry.

3) If you have been there for an hour remember what you expect to get paid for and then remember that you have been serviced for an hour. Not had to lift a finger (okay mostly not had to lift a finger.) every thing is delivered to you…at least meet the waiter half way…give them a five spot. I think they at least deserve that.

4) If you don’t want to leave a tip, don’t go to a full service restaurant allowing the waiter/waitress to respond to your beck and call, and then leave them with nothing. Just don’t do that. It’s bad karma. Bad ju ju…just skip the full service restaurant. Head out to a place where you can order your own food and pick it up at the window.

All that being said, I have made pretty good money even if most of it has gone to the care of children while I am working. If I didn’t have that expense we would be peachy keen. But I do…because I had kids…because I was married to an a–hole. (That’s another post.)

I feel the need to insert a song here…Everlast…Getting By.

Today (or maybe tomorrow) I am making a guest appearance at CommuniCATE CLICK HERE  to link and read about blogging and depression. It’s interesting stuff. Perhaps you to will want to blog and share and learn how to be a better you.


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