Why do we believe lies?
Why do we want to believe that everything said to us is the truth?
Maybe not for you, but for me…I always want to believe in the good in people.
I want to believe that their actions are for the best. I know that my actions aren’t always for the best, so why do I believe that others are that way?
Tonight I was watching the movie, “An Education” with a girl the same age as Carrie Mulligan’s character.
The film brings certain ideals to the surface.
Which, is why I ask, “Why do we want to believe lies?”
I remember thinking when I was 16 that certain things were just givens.
Wait for sex until marriage.
Go to college and grad school.
Complete a kick-ass dissertation getting a PhD.
Wait until I was 30 or older to get married. (Yep wait that long for sex too.)
Then there were my beliefs.
I automatically believed in the good in all people.
Mean people didn’t exist.
Cruelty had no place in my life so it wouldn’t have existed either.
Alcoholism was a TV character.
Drug addicts we also characters from some far off film studio.
Abuse and Divorce I knew about, but I didn’t think they would ever have an effect on my future.
I knew I would choose the perfect guy, get married, and never ever get a divorce.
That meant failure and I hadn’t ever really failed at anything to that point.
There was no way I would fail at the most important decision in your life!
Careers come and go, but the man by your side, who was to walk hand in hand with you forever, THAT was the most important thing.
No, I’m not having a “How did I get here” moment. I already know.
It’s just that tonight my movie watching friend said something along the lines of “I will never make that choice.”
For those who have seen the movie it is at the end of their first weekend away. The charming, older male lead and his cohort walk out of a house with a stolen map. She questions his morality and hers the remainder of the car ride home.
This is after he lies to get her to stay with him the weekend. Lies about having attended University, lies about knowing C.S. Lewis. Lies that she assists in facilitating because then she gets to have a really fun weekend. At the end of the scene he lies some more and changes her mind about how bad he really is…how morally depraved he had become since his idealized days as a teenager.
She believed him.
She forgave and let him caress her check.
WHY DO WE DO THAT?!
Carrie Mulligan’s character believes that her moments of happiness are more important than the lies.
It certainly is.
Anyone who has had a taste, a smidgeon, of this education can attest.
It is this education that breaks down your very core. It’s the one that we get lost and need help to finding our way out.
I wonder if there is a way to prevent the inevitable.
I wonder if some men have an internal system, let’s call it a 6th sense, about gullible women. Gullible girls who will do or say whatever is necessary to maintain the affections of a man.
I was one of these girls…for the most part I still am.
The young(ish) romantic girl always wanting to believe the good in people.
Is there a radar system that we women can create to make ourselves remember the important parts to life when blinded by something bright and shiny?
Is there a way for women to not believe the lies?
Is there a way to keep us from lying to ourselves?
Then there is the fact that sometimes you do outgrow this…except where that area of the heart is inhabited by the original liar.
Despite anything they put us through we still want to believe them. We still have a soft spot for their depravity. For some it’s the opposing force to their happiness is our belief in their untruths and we let it happen.
I hate the lying, but more over I hate that I always want to believe them!
End bloggy rant…if you have any sage advice please leave it in the comments.