One of the Oldest Professions

I started this post weeks ago with a different intent, but now, I have a more wholesome approach to one of the Oldest Professions.

How many of you have ever been a waiter or a waitress? Anyone? Most of us at some point have done this particular job. Do you remember how hard it was?

I have been a waitress at two different restaurants in my life. At the moment, I am waiting tables…but I don’t remember it being this hard! OH MY GOODNESS!

So, this is a piece on remembering to tip your waiters and bartenders and why…although I had planned on something more along the lines of a courtesan or concubine or mistress. That too is an old profession…just as old as marriage. So…like I said…much more wholesome.

On March 7, I started waiting tables again. I am working at the big, little restaurant on the bay and wow…am I in pain!

Once upon a time when I was 20 years old and working at this same restaurant. We would hire someone over 30 and I would laugh when they couldn’t keep up and smile on command.

<insert expletive> this is HARD!

Now I know why these women were huffing and puffing and their ankles were caving in!


Needless to say I am eating my words from my 20 year old self and I would like to smack the B—-. Only she is me and self abuse I teach against…although I think I am losing that argument as well every time I arrive at work. My schedule generally goes like this…

Clock in


Take a table

Finish what ever I was cleaning

Take another table

Run, table, run, table, table, run, etc…

For 6 to 9 hours a day…at least the 9 hours is expected (eventually) and after 9 shifts of 7 hours I ache! Places I didn’t remember I had ache! (If my physical therapist knew she would be beating me with her stretching belts!) My legs got a little shaky by Saturday afternoon and I nearly toppled a tray full of drinks on a table full of senior citizens! I saved it though…and felt better about myself about that. Yay me!!

One week in and I had renewed vigor in my job search. (Just so you know.) I have been on four interviews this week! Finally the economy really does look like it is picking up and it’s evidenced in the job banks! Thank you God! Just in time!

Anywho…I also forgot the pettiness of some people. I have been playing (working) with grown ups for far too long so petty people infuriate me. For those who have never waited tables before…allow me to enlighten you.

We have side work.

By that I mean we do menial tasks at $3.35 an hour until they are complete AFTER our shifts.

What do I mean by pettiness?

“She didn’t roll enough silverware.” “She tried to help the new guy when she is new herself.” “Don’t touch that!” “Blah, blah, blah…”

Pettiness people. If you are old enough to serve a drink you are old enough to not fight over bull shit. I am certain there is a more G rated term for that…but it is in fact bull shit…because it smells of such a substance.

I think I have posted before that my body is damaged and apparently no one I know reads my posts…so I am left to reexplain the trials of myself since having children. I feel a bit like a lazy chubby girl, but there are in fact medical reasons for everything, thus I have been angry with myself as much as others with higher expectations…because my 20 year old self would definitely be making fun of me.

Please – for the love of God – remember to tip your bartenders and waitstaff. Here is why…

1) They might have families they are supporting.

2) Someone around the corner from your table may be poking at their ego and stamina and it is reflecting in how they are dealing with you. I know you are thinking the wait person should be able to rise above this, but some times they really just want to go to the back and cry.

3) If you have been there for an hour remember what you expect to get paid for and then remember that you have been serviced for an hour. Not had to lift a finger (okay mostly not had to lift a finger.) every thing is delivered to you…at least meet the waiter half way…give them a five spot. I think they at least deserve that.

4) If you don’t want to leave a tip, don’t go to a full service restaurant allowing the waiter/waitress to respond to your beck and call, and then leave them with nothing. Just don’t do that. It’s bad karma. Bad ju ju…just skip the full service restaurant. Head out to a place where you can order your own food and pick it up at the window.

All that being said, I have made pretty good money even if most of it has gone to the care of children while I am working. If I didn’t have that expense we would be peachy keen. But I do…because I had kids…because I was married to an a–hole. (That’s another post.)

I feel the need to insert a song here…Everlast…Getting By.

Today (or maybe tomorrow) I am making a guest appearance at CommuniCATE CLICK HERE  to link and read about blogging and depression. It’s interesting stuff. Perhaps you to will want to blog and share and learn how to be a better you.


Women’s Lib to Domestic Goddess

Today is a new day. Fresh dew is on the grass and the sky is the most brilliant cerulean blue. As I look out my office window I can see dragonflies dancing on the drought hardy blooms.

In a scene so at peace, why is it I feel so discontent?

Why is it that I can’t let myself soak in this beauty and stare in awe at its wonder.

Life – in a word.

Life is not easy, but why does it have to be so hard?

There is so much wonder and excitement. But there is also so many times we just get through to the next step. So much baggage that we get lost in carrying it all with us. Perhaps that is the problem.

Perhaps I am concentrating too hard on what is, instead of on what could be.

Several interesting prospects have crossed my path this week, and I got lost on what is, instead of on what could be. I allllllmost told them to bugger off.

Luckily for them, I am of a thinking nature and have thought long and hard, and have decided to move onto the next great adventure with my big sister.

What is life if you can’t share it with your sisters?

The progress sort of makes me feel like an old maid. (I am not an old maid.) But I am turning 31 soon, and will have a finalized divorce soon, and my oldest is starting kindergarten. I haven’t got a husband and I am going to live with my sister, near the many other women of our family without husbands. We will get to watch our kids grow and maybe meet someone worthy of a second date.

It is odd isn’t it? 30 years ago people in either of our situations would have been shunned (for lack of a better term). We would have been living on the edge of society instead of embracing our trials and overcoming them and flourishing in spite of them. It is a sign of progress.

Woman’s liberation aside, I do long for the old days.

I guess I had never thought about what I wanted after I had kids. I guess I thought it would magically happen. I guess I figured that a traditional home, with maybe the mommy working outside the home once the kids were in school was normal. Instead…I didn’t ask myself or my partner those questions. If you have read any of my other posts you will know that I didn’t ask much of him.

I am asking myself these questions now because…my kids want me to be with them. My oldest begs me to stay home with them every day, and my youngest will some day join the chorus. I never thought I would be the kind to be a stay at home mommy. I always thought that I would want to work and provide and I knew that is what I wanted to I marched full steam ahead. Claiming women’s lib and wearing it as a mantle. I had a house husband. I had a son. I had a job, one that I was great at, but I never saw my son. I never had to work on the house. I was near breakdown when I walked away from the job.

Now I am nearly divorced. My kids still never see me, and all I want is to be there with them. Our time together is precious so anything that has to be done gets put to the wayside. We read books. We laugh. They play with their cars and toys and I watch them from the other side of the living room.

As I watch I long for that very traditional household. The one where mom gets to stay home with the babies and dad goes to work. Mom cleans the house, cleans the kids and has dinner ready soon after her husband gets home. I know that person exists. I know she does despite her woman’s lib mantle.

Perhaps after my time as an old maid living with my sister, I will find my traditional life. I will be able to raise my kids and do all things domestic.

I have good company and good teachers for that.

Some day the dragonflies will be circling the flowers in my yard covered in fresh dew instead of the office garden.

Love and hugs, blessings and dreams…