I hope that comes through when I post this. It is seriously something that I fear. Honestly. Completely. I fear life after rehab with my ex-husband.
Why?
Because like Seth’s character in Parenthood, once my exhusband stops drinking he is amazing. He is an amazing man whose generousity and ability to love know no bounds.
This isn’t the codependance talking, this is reality.
This is the reality we face every time he gets out of rehab.
This is why I chose him. He is an amazing person with a fantastic view of life and an ability to speak and communicate.
This is the tragedy in a marriage such as ours. Together because the love is there but so broken because of the addiction. The addiction controls all.
I love this show. It’s an amazing show and anyone who doesn’t watch it is missing out. It’s like someone is scripting the lives within my family. Or at least in my part of my family. I think I could name all the characters relationships within my own life.
Like Sarah’s character I will struggle with the love I feel for the rest of forever. We love broken people and no matter if we can live with them or not we struggle with our emotions. We struggle to remain distant.
Anyway, been struggling with this lately and its weird that the only way I can give an example is to provide a clip from a TV show. This is the whole show. It’s an hour. You’ve been warned.
On the way to work this morning I was hearing this song for perhaps the 100th time, I was singing along and I feel compelled to share it with you. It was written for the men in the world. Telling you about who you were made to be.
Who you should strive to be.
The influences on life and culture don’t speak to who a man should be anymore. They speak to how he should look and what he should be able to buy.
Who do you think you should be? What do you think you should be doing?
A few years ago, after I left my husband for the first time I discovered that EVERY woman in my office – there were about 35 of us – had been divorced at least once. Everyone. They had started lives with men and then found that although they looked old enough, they were still boys. They played games instead of taught their children how to act. They got high or wasted instead of helping provide for their families. The women had to pick up the slack.
We don’t like to pick up that much slack. We don’t like the world on our shoulders.
The children of these women had no male role models involved in their life on a day to day basis. The fathers were not involved in their lives even on a monthly basis. The women struggled for everything they had while they were single mothers.
Single parenting is hard, but single parenting in comparisson to being married to a man-child is much easier. We aren’t met with the anger and frustration of having someone laze around all day and STILL expect us to wait on them hand and foot AFTER we have gotten home from pulling a 10 hour shift at work.
Women are certainly not the weaker sex. Personally I don’t think either sex is weaker. I think we were just made for different jobs, and somewhere along the road to enlightenment someone forgot that.
In an effort to help you to understand I pulled this list from Proverbs 31 ministries – it is not the list in Proverbs 31, but it gives you the general idea.
The Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman
The Proverbs 31 Woman…
Pursues an ongoing, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Loves, honors, and greatly enriches the life of her husband, encouraging and supporting his leadership within his family and his church.
Nurtures the next generation, shaping and molding the children who will one day define who we are as a community and as a nation.
Creates a warm and loving environment for family and friends.
Is a faithful steward of the time and money God has entrusted to her.
Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction as she encourages others and develops godly friendships.
Shares the love of Christ by extending her hands to help the poor and opening her arms to the needy.
Likewise – I googled “What the Bible has to say about being a man.” There is not a website like Proverbs 31 for you guys. No wonder you don’t know what you are doing! Just kidding…
1 Timothy Chapter 5
8. BUT IF ANY provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
1 Corinthians Chapter 13
11. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Ephesians Chapter 5
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ecclesiastes Chapter 4
9. Two [are] better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him [that is] alone when he falleth; for [he hath] not another to help him up.
Titus Chapter 2
3. The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5. [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Peter Chapter 3
7. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8. Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous:
9. Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
Philippians Chapter 2
2. Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind.
3. [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Philippians Chapter 2
14. Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
Ephesians Chapter 5
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Proverbs Chapter 15
1. A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Ephesians Chapter 4
29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
31. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Ephesians Chapter 5
4. Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Ephesians Chapter 4
32. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
John Chapter 8
32. And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Small Wonders & Other Thoughts 