God Meets You Where You Let Him.

I have had my share of trials recently. I would say more than my fair share, but God does not give us more than we can handle, right? So here is a brief testament to his timing in these trials.

Yesterday I went to church with the wild pentacostals. I don’t think I can ever be wild like that but perhaps some day. We worshiped and prayed and we heard a blessed message on how when we walk by faith we are not walking on our own strength, but on God’s. Which was appropriate considering the trials I have faced. The minister that was sharing with us said to come back Sunday night for a special message. I am not usually their on Sunday evenings, but I thought I would go, I needed all the encouragement I could get at the moment.

After church I went to Kroger. I got $10 in gas and used my 20 cent discount to get as much gas as possible. Then I went into Kroger and bought one gallon of milk, one package of diapers, one bottle of dish soap and a 4 stick thing of margerine. I had bananas in the basket also because the boys love bananas. Well, I put the things that I had to have through the cash register and since I didn’t need the bananas they stayed behind. It amounted to $11.46. (I didn’t think I had that much) But I fed the bills in one at a time, $8. Fed in the change…$1.78 and then slid my debit card. Whew! It covered the cost! I checked my balance this morning I have 46 cents remaining on it. (Thank God for miracles)

It was thunderstorming and fabulous (yes fabulous – I love thunder) by the time we got home, so we ate lunch and I laid the boys down for a nap. I had been having a flowing conversation with God for days now in regard to my finances and I was bushed. So I laid down too. I don’t remember a day when I had a better nap. We all woke up around 4. The boys played while I took the chicken out of the oven and made the rest of the sides to go with dinner. Then we changed, got in the car and went back to church to hear this special message.

This time it was on “God meets you where you let him and heals you from where ever you are.” There were wonderful stories and I thought of Pat and her story of Dave’s birth (Something I will ask permission to share another time) and I thought of myself and how hard I was trying. I said even more prayers and sought peace. About half way through the service peace overwhelmed me, and I didn’t know why. But for the first time all day I felt warmth exude from my soul and envelope me in a warm fuzzy blanket. It was lovely. As one point Michael got a little fussy and one of the older ladies whisked him away. I got to listen to the message. It was wonderful and exactly what I needed to hear. We had a line across the front at the end of the service and we all prayed for healing. It was interactive. 🙂

After service I was waiting because the pastor told me not to leave until one of our deacons was able to bring me some food. Since the deacon was busy I waited and talked to people and hid in the corner from the sun. It was blindingly bright last night as it set on the horizon. They had a little meeting because our pastor were leaving today to go be with his father. He is 86 and dying and has not had his come to Jesus moment. (If you are a praying person say a prayer for that. So that he can meet his maker in peace and have peace for all the days of eternity.)

Their little meeting broke and the pastor once again called me to the side. The handed me a check for $100. He knew I was struggling to make ends meet, but he had no idea that I had in fact put the last $10 in my gas tank that afternoon. I find it shamefull to be in my present position and don’t tell people how much I struggle. It doesn’t make for plesant conversation…seriously it’s depressing. I know I am not the only one here, but I find it best to encourage and assist where ever I can.

But as he handed it to me I could do nothing but burst into tears. I have read about it, but never actually bursted into tears before. So much so that before I could rejoin the people leaving church I had to go wipe my eyes and say prayers of thanks and I don’t know if I hugged the pastor. I hope I did. I am not a hugger, but I am learning. Relief washed over me. It was such a blessing. They are such a blessing.

So, I guess what I am trying to tell you is to pray, live by His rules, and keep faith in the forefront of your walk. I am not saying that money will rain down like manna from heaven, but I am saying that no matter where you go God will meet you where you put him and will be there in His time.

Love and blessings friends!

It’s not what you plan, but how you do it

What do you crave? Right now (well five minutes ago) I couldn’t get chocolate off my mind. Now, craving quenched, I wonder what life would be like without our favorite things? What do we get out of denying the things we want. I admit I am not good with will power. Just meet me (in person), it’s obvious!

For those of you with the blessing of will power, this is my message to you. It’s okay to have a cappuccino! It’s okay to have a glass of wine! It’s okay to live a little!

The incredible fragility of life is not something that you can fully appreciate until you have been to the edge and lived to tell it. So, I am here to tell you that tomorrow may not happen. Your plans may not make it to fruition. You dreams may change. God almighty may decide that it’s time to bring you home. Your next visit to the doctor may include a diagnosis of a life changing illness.

ALL YOU HAVE IS RIGHT NOW!

Accept happiness as you get it. Accept the dessert when it’s offered. Accept that report deadlines will be missed because you took the time to just be with your family.

Accept failure, it’s part of life too.

Just BE!

BE FREE.

Eat a piece of cake every once in a while! Run wild through a field, pick flowers, and lay in a heap of hay with the ones you love. Take a week to go fishing and camping.

Above all?

Love with reckless abandon and live like tomorrow doesn’t exsist.

Life is a bouquet

“The process to become self aware is often fraught with disaster. You read, learn, and grow, but sometimes you read the wrong books, learn the wrong lessons, and grow in the wrong direction.”

Is that something I would say??

No!

Everything you read, if done properly, becomes a part of you. It is never who you are, it is never who you should be, but in some mystical way it becomes a part of your index of knowledge that you can access at anytime of life. As I wonder through this world I grab and reach and pick the flowers that become the bouquet of who I am, the flowers don’t pick me. I am allowed to hold on to or let go of whatever I like.

We are taught as children (at least I was) that you should only pick the good flowers, the prettiest, the most perfect, that will give you the best bouquet. I know there is evidence to the contrary because there is beauty and perfection in everything…in everyone.

Books that I have read include but are not limited to…

The Complete stories and poems of Edgar Allen Poe – one of my earliest and most loved authors. I grew up loving the edge of sanity thanks to life and to Poe. 🙂

Tara Road by Maeve Binchey – a timeless writer whose voice lends to the heroism and tragedy of the characters. We are all flawed and that is okay…it’s what we do after we figure it out that matters.

777 by Alester Crowley – Not my favorite, but sometimes it takes books that you don’t like to figure that out. 😛

The Bible and The Other Bible – By various authors – We all know the first one. It is the book determined to contain all of the books of the Bible approved by the bishops and King James. The other Bible contains all of the books (plus a few) that were excluded including (but not limited to) the gospel of Jesus, the gospel of Thomas, the dead sea scrolls, Macabees and various others. I love learning everything there is to know about a subject, especially if it is controversial.

The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck – Some of the readers of this will know when I painfully was forced to read this in high school, but have since reread it and have grown to appreciate the struggle. There is beauty in it.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare – I love plays. I love comedies and there are none as wonderful and endearing as these. One of my favorite past times is Shakespeare in the park, live productions put on simply because we love Shakespeare.

Succulent Wild Woman- by SARK – One of the most powerful books that I could have ever read and I try to live by many of the ideas Susan talks about. This is an amazing book for anyone embarking on a journey of self.

Why did I tell you all these…hmmm…each of them have given me something. Each of them has shown me more about the life I want to lead (or about the life that I don’t). I walked away from the experience of them knowing more of myself.

Daisies, Roses, Geraniums, Orchids, etc…Each is different and each brings something unique to a bouquet. You can’t use all flowers in the same bouquet, but you can use them each in a bouquet. Some are so unique and beautiful that they are much better when featured alone. (But that’s a different lesson.) Figure out what your flowers are and then create your life.

Take a lesson from each person you meet. (These are your flowers.) If they are an arrogant bastard (Prickly pear cactus), you know what you don’t want to be like. If they are a lovely priceless person (Indian Paintbrushes), try to bring that away from the meeting. There is a lesson in every chance, in every meeting, in every day; just watch, wait, read, and pick the flowers that you want to carry with you for the remainder of your days.

Photo by ‎Ashley M. Halligan (Click the title to view her Facebook page) The Mischief & (Mis)Adventures of a Contemporary Pilgrim

Happy Place!

There comes a time when you just go to your happy place because you know you will feel comforted and safe. Today go there, wallow in it for a while, allow the joy to wash over you in whatever way sooths your soul.

If you’d like, click the title to hear Brown Eyed Girl from Van Morrison. It is one of those songs that just makes me happy. I am not a brown eyed girl, but I sub blue when I sing it out loud.

Close your eyes, dance, breath, enjoy something just because you can.

Take steps of faith because you want to know what the edge feels like.

Walk the path of peace and tolerance because it will better serve everyone.

Live happily. Live freely. Chase the birds!

What ever you do – Do it with enthusiasm!

A moment all for you

As you all know this is mostly about my walk with God and self discovery and lacking in anything creative, but what if I started adding more of myself to this little blessing. More than just the stories of trials and tribulations…we all have them. For so long I seem to have focused on little else besides “my problems,” so I am not going to promise I won’t go there again, but I will promise to go there less often.

For now, I want you to turn on Pandora. Channel you are looking for is Acoustic New Age. Now close your virtual eyes (or read and do it in a bit).

Take a deep breath allowing the music to fill your mind. Allow all other thoughts to disappear. Keep breathing, deep soul filling breaths until you are completely relaxed.

Then say a quick prayer of thanksgiving. “Dear God, thank you for today. Thank you for allowing me to be part of this world and for taking me on to the next in due time. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for the people you allow me to come into contact with from around the world. Amen”

Then open your eyes and go forth with new vision. If you take a few minutes just for you right now, you will feel better for every one else.

Today the Dalai Lama posted on twitter, “The very purpose of spiritual practice is to help others.”

Live in peace my friends.

"It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

I have been wanting to write something today outside of the book I am working through. I stumbled on this quote from Nelson Mandela (below).

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Nelson Mandela

Ask yourself a few questions please and either post a response or send me a FB message and left me know what you thought is.

1) Are you living the best life you can?

2) What is holding you back from that?

3) What choices can you make to begin to live in the light?

4) What could possibly be as bad as not living to your potential?

Take a walk through your past, reflect on what got you to where you are, and see if it is the best you can do for yourself and for the planet. If it’s not, reflect on what you can do to make it all better for you and for the planet.